Pitches for my picture book manuscripts
INCREDIBLY BORING STORIES FOR OVER STIMULATED CHILDREN follows two rambunctious, wound-up kids who are lulled to sleep against their fondest up-past-bedtime wishes by their dad’s long-winded story—about changing a toilet paper roll.
When the tiny friends in the POLLINATOR’S CLUB open their group to welcome new members, a huge, intimidating bat named Belfry shows up. Each must overcome expectations to recognize that they are all dedicated to their important work, and can look a little strange while getting the job done.
Noodle and her brother Goofball are determined to rebel against the way books sneak in a moral. They vow to make sure their book is 100% FOR SHENANIGANS ONLY—but their boring dad keeps interrupting with unwelcome words of parenting wisdom. When it seems blobfish pillow fights and ostrich-in-a-dinosaur-costume shenanigans are poised to win the day, one unexpected moral sneaks its way into the book.
Rainbow the unicorn is sick of being called names like “Cutie Patootie.” After an unexpected encounter with a “dracula” bat, he seizes the opportunity to change what the citizens of Sparklevania call him. When COUNT RAINBOW’s diabolical vampire antics turn people away, a new “cutie patootie” steps up to help him and the town realizes that nicknames can sometimes be unintentionally harmful.
Max’s Aunt Lily notices that he’s spending a lot of time indoors with his new video game, ignoring the fun to be had outside—especially in her garden with its old droopy cypress tree. After a quick bit of shopping for beach balls & paint, Max meets a new outdoor friend, THE GOOGLY TREE.
A girl named Melody spots something unusual in the sky above her farm—a COW ON A BALLOON! Suddenly the whole world seems transfixed, posting photos and videos and broadcasting endless opinions. But Melody uses her wits to solve the problem while everyone around her feeds into the hysteria caused by the improbable predicament.
When Goofball and his sister Noodle sleep late and risk missing Dad’s pancake breakfast, a mysterious warning straight out of an old sci-fi movie trailer announces an incoming alien menace, unleashing a wave of wiggling wake-up terror. Will the lure of pancakes repel the approaching doom of—THE TICKLE FROM OUTER SPACE…?!?
A trip to the amusement park turns into a baffling mystery where things are not what they seem. When Goofball and his sister Noodle meet their favorite cartoon characters, they are shocked to discover… HEY! THEY HAVE ZIPPERS! Disillusionment becomes a secret mission as they discover the hidden secrets of Captain Flapjack and his pals.
KRAMPUS CLAUS humorously tells of a time the legendary monster Krampus has to substitute for Santa and deliver rewards to the nice list kids. One stop on his route poses a crying, shouting, pouting problem, and Krampus comes to a realization about his monstrous ways of dealing with naughty kids.